Will Wait for You
Tanvir Malik
Maa, you’ve left me at sea:
I’m choked by the waves,
Buffeted by the wind,
And tyrannized by the dark.
Shivering and alone,
I stare into the distance;
But there’s no Island of Pharos –
No dolphins leap out the waters.
Am I lost like the ancient sailor
Who threaded back home after years?
Are there sirens approaching?
And cyclops lurking ?
But go home the sailor did.
Alas poor me’s drowning
In tears here all alone;
You, my boat, are gone.
Memory-algae crowd my mind –
Disturbing and painful;
I scream: “leave me be...!”
They make faces.
It wasn’t to be like this, Maa:
You were to be with me,
My own banyan tree,
Over my head.
How a human being vanishes
Into the unknown is beyond me,
Even the greatest magician’s diappearing acts
Come nowhere close.
But magicians reappear.
Won’t you ever –
In my dire straits,
When my heart’s sore?
The world’s doing what it does best,
As if no stalk of hay is misplaced;
How can I shout it out
What calamity’s done me in!
No sharee on the clothesline,
No clinking of bangles,
No one in front of TV;
Only stinging memories.
If sorrow’s blue,
What colour is loss?
And what about void –
Has anyone assigned it any?
You used to tell me
The dead become stars in the sky;
Have you moved house there?
How to seek you in that myriad?
Or have you banished yourself
To Dandakaranya for fourteen years?
If that be the case,
I’ll await your return.
Or is this one of your pranks –
Will you one day
Sneak up behind me
And grab a hug, making my day?
Nothing to make up for the loss
No earthly thing dare compete;
And Time, the heavy-hanging Bastard,
Is out to test my patience!
I know, Maa, the tumult in the sea
Will one day subside – such is life;
But the sea will be there
With all its vastness in my heart.
Should you choose to cross it then
And come to me,
Just send me a sign – any will do;
I’ll be waiting on one leg.